There is a place where a part of my soul hovers; a land where it hides. A place under the pale blue skies and cold breeze. I wonder if the land dotted with lakes is a place where God’s tears simply fell and never left. Tears for a heartbreak He knew would take place on the black soil meandering through the waves.
The rich greens adorned with wildflowers that sway and moan, a song hummed to the deepest parts. The wind carries the notes high above the clouds straight to me.
My life, it moves. One foot forward, over and over and over.
This place. It holds a piece of me forever, although it does not hold me fully. Not even close.
But every once in a while, a longing or a glimpse, and my soul stretches itself to touch the place where my babies met the earth and first landed in my arms. Where their feet learned to walk and they had their first bath. The place where joy burst through from Heaven to welcome the most precious lives I know. The place where my heart was shattered into a tiny little pieces, more times than I can keep track of, never to look the same again. Scars hindering its movement. Scars strengthening the muscle that keeps it moving.
I know where I am scattered.
I know where I am torn.
I know where I have walked out of a space that held me for too long.
I know where my heart always resides. In flesh and blood. In love and sacrifice.
In the end, this life takes pieces of us and leaves them in the shadows. We leave a breath of our soul in the places that make us who we are. And then we walk into what’s next.