Updated: May 20
My heart is tattooed with the names of those I have loved. The walls of my ventricles etched with graffiti. The ones who will never leave me. Jesus, my savior. My ever present help in times of trouble. My rock. The only one I can safely build my life upon. My children. My literal tissue and sinew and bone. Sister. Mother. Father. Grandparents. The girl with blonde curly hair who was the only one to speak to me when I was the new girl. The other girl who has walked with me from childhood to the rawness of adulthood. The one who has been there through it all. The ones who have caused pain and scars that have forced the muscle to learn a new path. A stronger one. These names, they beat with me. My blood is tainted with them with every coursing stroke.
The names of those I've met who have long forgotten me. The ones who never even knew they entered my world. The ones sitting in the hospital rooms as I cared for them. Sat with them. Learned from them. The list of patients ticking in succession throughout my memory. The steady rhythm of a nurse. They have all carved out a small space in me. They've changed me. They've altered the layout of my heart and my road and my eternity. Their feet a pattern in my very being.
Who are yours? Who do you beat for? Whose names course through your veins? Who whispers to you in the darkness? Who occupies the space in your life, and who has changed you forever? Who is your heart tattooed with?
My hope is that there is a resounding exhale of Jesus. My hope is that he covers all the others, but if you’re anything like me, while He is there, He is not always first. These other names, especially the ones I created in my very womb, they fight for first. They fight to occupy my mind before my Savior. My hope and prayer is that together, we can fight to get to Jesus first. We will breathe an inhale of His blood and love every morning, and more than that, throughout the day. Every day. We will make the intentional first choice to place His name above all the others. Come with me?