I needed to be undone. To be unraveled. Completely, but all I could offer was a handful of broken pieces. Pieces that needed to be pulled out from where they had landed hard, jagged edges and broken parts still so tender. They were reluctantly dug up and laid out slowly on the cracked concrete. Forced out of hiding. Dredged up from where I had shoved them down. Put on display in the brightest sunlight.
This is where He needed me to meet Him. He whispered quietly to the ember of what remained, tiny though it was. He asked for what I had left to give. It was not much.
Hiding no longer an option. Forcing a remembrance on the things that feel safer forgotten.
Slowly, a bit of healing came in, fluttered and danced just above my skin. Barely perceptible. Just a shadow of it landed softly on my heart, but the smallest bit enough to take another breath. Shreds of strength returned gently to my weary bones. Even if for a moment.
Shoulders bare, head down, His presence washed over me. Fleeting, but undeniable. A warmth created at the beginning of it all carried through time and space to wrap me up. Cover me. Sustain me.
A part of me settled into His arms once again. I allowed myself to fall, for what other choice is there?
He really is beautiful in His love. In His pursuit. In His friendship. In His solidness. I don’t understand it, but it breaks me. Over and over.
“Let them sit alone in silence beneath the Lord’s demands. Let them lie face down in the dust, for there may be hope at last.” Lamentations 3: 28-29