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Older Now

I am older now. I don’t care about so very much of it. I just want to wear overalls and worn out Birkenstocks and live among the wildflowers with the occasional brightest of red lipstick and a dress that sways just right. I want to dance with no rhythm and laugh as I wrap up my babies and feel their bodies growing strong next to mine. I want to be seen by the only one who has the capacity to truly see me, and I want to leave this world holding that other’s hand and heart knowing I loved them so well. I want to be ok if that never happens. I want to bathe in the moon on a warm summer night and lose myself in the flames as they fly off the fire.

I am older now. My heart is misshapen and scarred for life has been cruel. And yet. Yet, my arms know the meaning of full and my love knows no bounds. Steady it remains for the ones who taught me its worth. For the gift of time and loss is the knowledge of what matters, and the heart only gets so many tries before one day she flies off. So over and over arms open into this big and beautiful world. Wild as a bird I want to fly, wings spread strong over the ones I love. Wings in flight into the days that I am gifted with in fragility. Sun in my untamed hair, beams on my wrinkled smile. I am older now. Let’s fly.


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