Before the Noise

My ears open before my eyes.  It is the sound of birds, awakening at first light, and ensuring that I do the same.  Eyelids are heavy above the windows to my world.  


I shift out of bed just so.  The sleeping toddler lying half on top of me still needs more rest.  So do I, but we all know that isn’t going to happen.  I place pillows around her body, praying she will not miss the sound of my heartbeat and sleep just a bit more.  Otherwise, all the mommas know the end result.  


My bare feet hit the floor, cool to the touch after being enclosed in covers for the last 8 hours.  My steps are slow and heavy because why in the world do birds wake up so dang early? And also, let’s be honest, my steps are heavy because one is not as light-footed after 3 babies and a shoe size that grew nearly 2 sizes larger after said babies.  This I will never understand.


The old wood floor creaks and moans under the weight of me.  It has rested through the night, but it now begins bearing the weight of the many feet that run it’s length through the hours of the day.


The door whines as I slowly shut it and move on to the next.  I eyeball 2 precious little boys curled up, superhero pajamas on tight, covers kicked off, messy heads atop a pillow.  


The dog immediately alert, all he cares about is one thing.  His belly.  Unfortunately for him, his belly does not trump my coffee.  Be patient, dog.  The Keurig awakens, the dog is fed.  He and I, morning partners in crime.  I won’t wake the kids if you don’t.


I go and find my spot in my little corner of the world.   Feet perched up, the sun fresh and beautiful above the treeline.  It’s yellow light a reminder that His mercies truly are new every morning. The coffee is hot, and I savor it.  


And here, in the space before the noise, I greet the God of the Universe.  This is where I am reminded of all He has done for my babies and me.  This is where I refill what can become empty through the long hours of the day.  This is where He speaks, and this is where I am reminded of who He is and how much He is in control.  It is where I am reminded of just how much He cares about us.


His Word my constant companion and shelter.  Daily, I try to remind myself that this Book is such a gift to hold in my hand, to open at will.  What a privilege to be able to read His own personal love letter, book of encouragement, and life giving words from the safety of my back porch, in my own language.  His hand in it all.  Every step of the way, to land me here, in this place that I now call my own.  


And the next thing I know, there is a small face at the door, bringing me my chapstick, because why not, right?  There are larger feet soon coming, now that life has begun for the day.  The hours to come will be nonstop, full of more cups of coffee, putting out fires, balancing 3 littles, a full time job, and an old house.  But the deep breath before the movement was all I needed to find my footing.  God, thank you that You are a God who shows up.  Thank you that you are a God who meets us where we are.  Thank you that on the mornings that do not allow for this, You still find us, see us, meet us, walk with us.  Every step of the way.


~Kalan







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