A moment where it all falls on you. Raw wounds. Scars that are visible. Breath shallow. Tears that have been on the verge for so long finally begin to fall. Flashes of what has been. Rumination of what is to come. The unknown that plaques us all. The things we have lived through that we each carry forevermore. And a hand that comes in the midst and gently steadies us.
In the solitude and the silence all the things that mark us can be allowed to fester. To grow. They are exposed. There is no hiding place; they are brought forth. And isn’t that what God intends? All the dark to be brought into the light. He is a God of illumination. He says to us, “Bring me your sacrifices. What needs to be cut through, laid out before me, and burnt to ashes?” Cinder and smoke- the smell of what once was alive now laid to rest- carries through the breeze for miles.
In a land that has been shifted and altered, the keepers of history taking notes, what will change? On the other side, what will stay and what will go? When the doors of society reopen who will emerge crushed and who will walk out stronger? Is it the toss of a coin? I don’t know. What I do know without question is that there is a God for both. There is a God for those who are crushed, and there is a God for those who are strong. There is a God for those who are broken, and there is a God for those whose every step appears to be blessed. Most importantly, there is a God for every single bit of the in between.
And the beautiful thing about a God who is there for every bit of it and who sees you is that it is, in fact, just the two of you. In a home of peace or a home of chaos; in a church of thousands or no church at all; in a career that asks everything of you or a career lost- He walks right through all of it and He comes straight to you. He creates this beautiful dance with only 2 partners. You and the God of it all. The God who created the galaxies stands before you as a perfect gentleman, His hand out, requesting a waltz. He holds a page with your name on it, full of notes that were sketched out before time began.
I learned a while ago that this waltz is the only dance I want to do gracefully. Let me make a fool of myself in the kitchen with my 3 little people, but the dance He created just for me and Him? Well, for that one, let me place my hand in His and relax as He carries my two left feet through all the dips and spins I’ve never been taught how to do. I imagine Him laughing and smiling at my lack of knowledge. At my stiffness, at my resistance. I feel a gentle pressure on my back, arms around me, guiding my feet to just the right place. His steady look at my eyes. “This step. Yep, that foot there. Perfect. Now place your foot here, nope not there, here. You got it. Come on daughter, we got this.” And oh, how those great eyes upon me, leading me, in an instant turn all the darkness into light. How that hand steadies the whole world when it is great and big and so, so beyond my realm of control. How the dance between me and the God of the Universe is the one I never tire of.
And while it’s just He and I on this journey, I pray my children watch from the sidelines this beautiful dance played out before them. I hope in the moments they notice me tripping over my own feet, they see that someone so much bigger was there waiting to catch me and place me back upright. I hope they see the mighty arms of a Father who never faltered, and I pray my love for Him was always visible and contagious. On the day when they notice His hand out inviting them into their own dance, I hope I have shown them that it is a hand worth taking. And may they run to accept this precious, unpredictable, beautiful, grace-filled offer.
I wonder how many people in this season of unknowns have chosen to finally place their hand in His? I wonder how this time of fear and great change has been used to alter lives for eternity? I wonder what worlds this unexpected pause has opened up? We never know the point where we will finally know without a shadow of doubt that there is no other hand to grasp onto. We never know the moment, the circumstance, the road that will lead us to the Father. But rest assured. God never wastes a single thing, and how life will never look the same when we choose to take that dance with Him. A soft spotlight on the two of you in a dark room. The dark never able to fully contain and threaten you with the same fears. Life suddenly light despite the heaviness. A partner to now lock arms with. A yoke that is now easy, a load lightened. The strongest of hands always waiting to pull you back to your feet. A loving, steady Father calling your name.
“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he may stumble, he will not fall for the Lord upholds him with His hand.”
Psalm 37: 23-24